When everything in you is screaming to not create... how to create when your heart is broken...

All artists are familiar with it. That feeling of dread, that terror that stops us from creating. Perhaps it’s boredom with a medium, or a feeling that you just aren’t good enough, so why bother. We all get stuck or distracted. Usually, I’d say be patient with yourself, and go with the flow.

But, how do you create when your heart is broken?

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The Making of Dark Bee Handmade Watercolors : A Mad and Marvelous Undertaking...

 
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For those of you who have curiously sought out information on the handmade watercolor hype, but have not experienced them for yourselves, read on for a glimpse into its wonderful and dynamic world. Other brave souls that took that first step and are forever changed by what’s inside those little pans, here is a little primer on the madness necessary for the creation of these beauties! It is no wonder that they command a fair renumeration.

For me, colors are feelings and intuitions. What colors and combinations that make my heart sing, or those that turn my stomach, are as often similar and vastly different than someone else in equal measure. Thus, in creating colors and palettes, I strive to allow colors to “appear” in the creation process as they will, fine tuning them on an intuitive level, rather than allowing critical thought, or dare I say, color theory, to enter the mix.

As such, there are certain experiential considerations. One learns the science of the pigments and their unique characteristics through study and process. Particle sizes vary, so one can expect varying results when combining them. Some are very fine and will separate and float to the top, some are very granular or tend to flocculate. Each combination has a life and will of its own. No two combinations behave the same way. Some pigments are rogue elements that will hide, the color only appearing five minutes into the mulling process. I have worked up sample amounts, only to find that a particular pigment doesn’t behave the same way en masse. Others colors are a dream from their very inception.

 
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Handmade watercolors are so unlike their commercial counterparts, in that each color has a life and essence of its own. Some are very creamy, some flow, some are more transparent than others, some are ready to go quickly, others take their time when initially wetted. Each has its own personality. In naming colors, I take that personality into consideration.

 
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After naming, comes production and photography. Pans are poured in layers, taking a week or more to completion. Some colors pour and dry smoothly, leaving themselves beautifully presented. Others crack and separate from the sides of the pans and are high maintenance. Labels are printed and affixed, photos are taken, store descriptions written, inventory documented, and palettes created. More photography, store listings, reordering of supplies, and marketing.

 
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Filling orders is a fun and labor intensive undertaking. Pulling colors, updating inventory, painting swatches on labels, attaching magnets, wrapping pans, preparing tins, and packaging is a labor of love. I often imagine the joy my artists experience in choosing colors, the anticipation while opening the package, and the delight in the first glimpse of their little pans of love.

For me, the whole process, from listening for color inspirations, the meditative quality of mulling paint, checking on my little pans as if they were sleeping children, and even the long , never ending, and sometimes tedious label making, inventory, and ordering of supplies , have never felt so right, so beautiful. I feel like I have done what I’ve come here to do, knowing that those little pans touch the souls and broaden the experience of those who have received them.